new year

well its new year, and i hope its happy for all of us! i just realised, my last post on this blog was over a year ago... way too long a time! lets see if i can make a habit of blogging! i want to.. i just think writing is at one level theraputic and at another cathartic! so good luck to me! :)

Of liberties and opinions

A long time ago… I had read a piece on liberty, which said that one is free is exercise one’s liberty, but only till it does not infringe upon another’s liberty. It further went on to give an example of the liberty of a driver to drive his car, as he likes it, where he likes it and however which way he likes it. But this liberty of the driver violates the liberty of not only other drivers who are on the road, but also of the pedestrians who are walking on the sidewalk, for the driver may say that it is his liberty to drive wherever he likes!

Made me think about the impact of our actions on others, direct or indirect, and how we blatantly go on making decisions and acting upon them as if they were only concerned with us! Made me question “can total and absolute liberty be practiced only in isolation?”
Where there is no presence of the “other” whose liberty may be contravened by us, often unknowingly?

This question of liberty made me think of Raj Thackrey and his liberty to express his views? Correct or not, it is after all his opinion and everyone is entitled to one. Our duty must be to listen to his side of the story and then accept or dismiss it. The problem with my generation is that we are indeed a “short cut” lot. Because we don’t know about a particular issue and because a friend, who seems fairly bright, has an outlook or a judgment about it, we take the short cut and start believing that that is what our stand on the topic is, when we haven’t really given the subject serious thought.
Shabana Azmi once put it succinctly “We Indians have far more opinions than we have information”. True, how many of us can boast of knowing everything there is to know on topics we have opinions on?

But to get back on track, it’s only when a certain Mr. Thackrey’s views get manifested into violent activities that his liberty starts to flout another’s of being employed and reside in any part of the country.

The questions stands: “Can true and absolute liberty be practiced only in isolation?”

farewell memories!

It surprised even me as it happened. The last two deliveries of the last over of Anil Kumble’s long and magnificent career had me in tears. In tears? Let us be honest here, I was bawling!

Agreed, I am a cricket buff. Get it from my grandmother. In fact my grandmother, my father and I are the only ones in the family who fight sleep to watch a match that begins at 2 in the morning. Never mind the sleep deprivation. But over the last couple of years, I haven’t really had the time/luxury to even sit through an entire one day match. Let alone a test match. I didn’t watch the Kotla match ball to ball either, but I thank god that I was home to watch, what is being called and what truly is “the end of an Era” is. And the fact that my growing years were a part of that era only intensified the emotional moment.

I still remember the time when Kumble got his perfect 10 at the very ground he bid farewell. My mother, sisters and I were out shopping when we got the news, my eldest sister, being the ardent Kumble fan, treated us all to ice cream!! The memory is as vivid as it could be. Us at Mahesh(!!) matching center, watching the little T.V. the shop keeper had. Then I also remember a time when my cousins and I sold a photograph of Kumble which had appeared in the morning newspaper for 10 rupees to another cousin who was mad about Kumble.

All these memories are just mine. To think of what the Man himself must be going through, all His memories of the games he has played. The fact that he was out on the field, wearing the Indian cap for the last time, I guess I was crying for him as well.

Amidst all this, I think I got a taste of what it must be like to be old. I don’t know why, but Kumble’s retirement somehow marked an end of an era for me as well. I still haven’t figured out the mathematics of the sentiment, but just feel that something inside me has ended. If I, with all of 22 years that I have been in existence could feel such emptiness at a thing like a cricketer’s retirement. I don’t even want to imagine the emptiness that the elderly must experience. God only knows how many ends of eras they must’ve seen or felt….

FORGIVING:

First of all, think of all the people you hold a grudge against. Now answer me, is it really worth giving them so much importance in your life? I hope the answer is negative, and if its not…then it must be a very serious matter. But the kind of forgiving I am talking about includes all those little, meaningless bitterness we hold against millions of people, in our daily lives…and trust me before I got thinking about this, I did not know the astounding number of people actually featured in my "hate-list". And then I started realizing that whatever they did was no big deal, well ok, they went and spread rumors about me, so what..the people who matter in my life know who I am..and know that I will never do anything that will embarrass them or let them down. So what if a person betrayed my trust, im sure he has reasons…. All I need is to confront him and ask him why he did it. And god save him if he doesn't come up with a bloody good reason!!!! So what if someone made fun of me, I'll think of it in this way, that I was the source of their happiness, think of it in this way that they made "FUN" of me, I am so much fun, don't you agree?!. So what if someone took the credit which I genuinely deserved…im more than willing to give away the credit if it is actually going to be appreciated, because I know it was me who did the hard work, and if it matters so much for a person to actually take away the accolades from a person who deserved it…then I'd rather let him have it and make him happy..despite his cruel intention.

It is when I realized that I think so much about these things, ponder over why who did what they did, that It dawned on me that to waste your time in indulging in all this made nothing better, it only affected my psyche , flooded my mind with wrong feelings and made me negative. I thought negative, I exuded negative, I lived negative.

And then the process started, I forgave one, then another and another and it made me feel better… I started realizing that it was not as difficult as I had made it out to be, once the forgiving part was done, the negativity went with it. The incident that had angered me started fading from the memory with each passing day. I started seeing the person in a better light. In other words, I started trusting the goodness in each one of them. And no one can shake the faith that I have now, that there IS infact some amount of goodness in everyone. You only need to identify that goodness. Ok, so they are not particularly nice to you, but if you see the bigger picture you'll find out that they are good to others, their family, their friends, their pets etc etc. and the moment this notion gets into your head, you will not only start to discover the better person in them..but also a better person in you.

Not only is it important to forgive but its equally important to be forgiven. One must ask for forgiveness every time they realize they were at fault. This is no cake walk by all means. To realize that u were wrong and to accept the very fact takes a long time. To ask for forgiveness takes longer. But if u start working on it, one day it will happen, when you will be armed with truckload of guts to go up to the person and say "Sorry". Sorry indeed seems to be the hardest word, but once said, you will realize the importance and the meaning the word holds. And if it is too hard for you to say sorry, ask for forgiveness from god. And trust him to convey it to the person to whom it was intented.

Life is too short to cherish the ones u love, its too short to make others realize their importance in your life, it is too short to tell people that you love them, once you start doing all this, u'll come to know that there is no time left for u to hold grudges against people. So its best that u forgive and forget, and if u are blessed with a poor/selective memory like me then life becomes a lot more beautiful and "forgiving".

" Good nature and good sense must ever join

to err is human; to forgive divine"

this one was really random...

I just don't know how to separate the twin feeling of love and possession…..

How can u not possess someone who u love…how can u not help but feel possessive about people who are dear to you..and with this possessiveness comes the worst feeling in the world, that of jealousy. That pang in ur heart wherein given the right circumstance(read ammunition) u could even kill the person who invokes this emotion…ok, ok maybe im a bit violent and u a bit more peace loving…and I know u wont kill…but im assuming that u are familiar with the sentiment.

Thousands of time have I felt this shooting pain and equal no. of times I have felt silly contemplating about the way I reacted. Its just that at that point in time u see the world with green tinted glasses.. and anyone who has tried on a pair of green shades, can tell u that its all a blur and that u cant really tell what exactly you're seeing, which is not a good thing.

But what im trying to seek by writing this is the answer to a very complicated question. I read somewhere about a person who while describing himself had written " I hate if anyone eyes my possessions yet I want to be envied". I think he speaks for most of us. True sainthood would have us belive that it is possible, to love without ownership, but since im no saint, I just cant, but that's not to say that I am not trying.

But then again, I think jealousy is ,in a way, good for us..it lets the other person know how much we adore them. Coz if we did not love them, the question of jealousy coming and ruining the picture wud never arise. U don't feel jealous of people who u don't love…or do u? but there are thousands of different ways in which u can show ur adoration for someone..rather than letting them know it thru this manner. Though in the heart of things we know that it causes a lot of heartache to us.

So what I was saying was that, if anyone truly finds a way to love without possessing, please please please let me know.

CHANGE IS PERMANENT

Ironical, isn't it? The paradox of the sentence- the only thing that is constant is change!!

And its true, look around yourself, what do u find? The answer is simple CHANGE .

People change, things change, times change. In short life changes.

Whether they change for the better or worse is entirely a subjective thing. Just the other day I was talking to my friend about change.she said it is bad, I said its good, well it depends from thing to thing and from perspective to perspective.

But just like a coin, everything has two sides to it. As much as we detest there are some things that will never change, like old habits. And if u ask me I'd rather keep it that way. Otherwise there will be no distinguishing feature for people. Some of these habits may be irritating, but u must realize its importance. Bear it and move on. That's the best way of handling things.

So keeping this aspect apart, the view that comes to fore is that change is inevitable, and all of us must in some way or the other be prepared for it. We all know, there is no point in complaining, so its better that we accept this simple fact.

It may be bad, it may be good, but as long as u anticipate it, trust me, life will be a lot less stressful and a lot more easy.

And while u were readingthis, look around again, what all has changed?? The whether,the time on the clock?, ur mood? Or has it?……

PARTING……

I don't know how many of u will relate to this….but well I don't know how many of u will read this in the first place..so it hardly matters!!

Well I think, all of us..at one point or the other have experienced this biiter sweet feeling…its sweet sometimes, its sometimes bitter..and at other times its bitter-sweet. Its sweet when u believe in the idiom-"absence makes the heart grow fonder"… Its bitter when u don't believe in the idiom, i.e. when someone who u love dearly is parting..and and im talking here about temporary parting..because heaven knows that 'permanent parting' is never going to be the former for anyone..unless u belong to the category of cold blooded persons..who actually derive happiness out of the death of some…and in which case I shudder to think about the kind of person u are!! Well death may sometimes be deserved by certain people..and the entire debate of capital punishment can be dealt with at some other time..and let me tell u, I have a habit of weighing everything with its pros and cons, and inevitably end up being on both sides of the coin..and not to mention, thoroughly confused. And as u can obviously see I also have a habit of deviating from the topic, and get into an entirely different stream of thoughts!!

Well, so I was talking about temporary parting, i.e. u know that u will meet the person again..and that its only a matter of days..the current subject has been brought about by an event in my life..and the experience of which I would like to share..and for that u will have to know a little about my family

I belong to a family of 6..and I have 3 older sisters..two of my older sisters are married..and marriage was the only reason for which they actually left home…so we got to spend a lot of time..in that way…wat I mean to say is that they did not go out of town for other reasons..say higher studies or for vocational purposes..im hoping u're getting the picture..but the third one has just left for pune to pursue her m.b.a. and it was kind of first experience for all of us at home

But what I really want to write about it here, are my own feelings. We're separated only by two years..so u can imagine how close we were!! We may have fought like mad people..but then again I believe that u fight, only with people who are dear to u or who hold importance in ur life..yup..go on.. think about all the people u've fought with, over the years..yes yes even the worst of ur enemies..and u'll find out the significance of their existence in ur life!! Those who don't hold that special place in ur life..dont make u bother!!u can easily keep them aside, and carry on with ur life……Im doing it again!! Deviating from the topic!! Please bear..or else just get lost!!

What I was saying was, that lord knows I had been waiting for her to get out of the house like a lover waits for his love. Because it had its obvious plus points..like having the room to myself, having mamma's attention to myself, having the cell phone to myself etc etc(the list is long!!). But when the day actually came..all I could think about was how miserable my life would be without her being there always!!how I would have no one to irritate, how I would have to one who would listen to my lengthy explainations of everything(to my mum, it irritates her to no length..so I don't even try!!) and ofcourse how I would have no one to frown on my jokes( my mum actually laughs at them!!!!!). and ofcourse I could not think of one good reason for me to be happy about her parting…not at that moment though..but now I can..wat with emotions taking a second place to practicality/rationality..haha..and just this contradictory nature of the phenomenon of parting made me want to write about it. Its just as confusing as the entire course of life, but hey what are our brains for, if not for sorting out these confusions..and I for one, love these confusions!! Gives me enough food for thought for my ever starving brain!!

And just to end it all..or rather to sum it all up, I'd like to quote a few lines from one of my favorite hindi songs

"na jaane kyun hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath,

achanak yeh mann, kisi ke jaane ke baad

kare phir uski yaad

choti choti si baat"

it just means- don't know why it happens with life, that suddenly/immediately after a person parts, we do nothing but be reminded of every little thing associated with them!!

True!!