FORGIVING:

First of all, think of all the people you hold a grudge against. Now answer me, is it really worth giving them so much importance in your life? I hope the answer is negative, and if its not…then it must be a very serious matter. But the kind of forgiving I am talking about includes all those little, meaningless bitterness we hold against millions of people, in our daily lives…and trust me before I got thinking about this, I did not know the astounding number of people actually featured in my "hate-list". And then I started realizing that whatever they did was no big deal, well ok, they went and spread rumors about me, so what..the people who matter in my life know who I am..and know that I will never do anything that will embarrass them or let them down. So what if a person betrayed my trust, im sure he has reasons…. All I need is to confront him and ask him why he did it. And god save him if he doesn't come up with a bloody good reason!!!! So what if someone made fun of me, I'll think of it in this way, that I was the source of their happiness, think of it in this way that they made "FUN" of me, I am so much fun, don't you agree?!. So what if someone took the credit which I genuinely deserved…im more than willing to give away the credit if it is actually going to be appreciated, because I know it was me who did the hard work, and if it matters so much for a person to actually take away the accolades from a person who deserved it…then I'd rather let him have it and make him happy..despite his cruel intention.

It is when I realized that I think so much about these things, ponder over why who did what they did, that It dawned on me that to waste your time in indulging in all this made nothing better, it only affected my psyche , flooded my mind with wrong feelings and made me negative. I thought negative, I exuded negative, I lived negative.

And then the process started, I forgave one, then another and another and it made me feel better… I started realizing that it was not as difficult as I had made it out to be, once the forgiving part was done, the negativity went with it. The incident that had angered me started fading from the memory with each passing day. I started seeing the person in a better light. In other words, I started trusting the goodness in each one of them. And no one can shake the faith that I have now, that there IS infact some amount of goodness in everyone. You only need to identify that goodness. Ok, so they are not particularly nice to you, but if you see the bigger picture you'll find out that they are good to others, their family, their friends, their pets etc etc. and the moment this notion gets into your head, you will not only start to discover the better person in them..but also a better person in you.

Not only is it important to forgive but its equally important to be forgiven. One must ask for forgiveness every time they realize they were at fault. This is no cake walk by all means. To realize that u were wrong and to accept the very fact takes a long time. To ask for forgiveness takes longer. But if u start working on it, one day it will happen, when you will be armed with truckload of guts to go up to the person and say "Sorry". Sorry indeed seems to be the hardest word, but once said, you will realize the importance and the meaning the word holds. And if it is too hard for you to say sorry, ask for forgiveness from god. And trust him to convey it to the person to whom it was intented.

Life is too short to cherish the ones u love, its too short to make others realize their importance in your life, it is too short to tell people that you love them, once you start doing all this, u'll come to know that there is no time left for u to hold grudges against people. So its best that u forgive and forget, and if u are blessed with a poor/selective memory like me then life becomes a lot more beautiful and "forgiving".

" Good nature and good sense must ever join

to err is human; to forgive divine"

this one was really random...

I just don't know how to separate the twin feeling of love and possession…..

How can u not possess someone who u love…how can u not help but feel possessive about people who are dear to you..and with this possessiveness comes the worst feeling in the world, that of jealousy. That pang in ur heart wherein given the right circumstance(read ammunition) u could even kill the person who invokes this emotion…ok, ok maybe im a bit violent and u a bit more peace loving…and I know u wont kill…but im assuming that u are familiar with the sentiment.

Thousands of time have I felt this shooting pain and equal no. of times I have felt silly contemplating about the way I reacted. Its just that at that point in time u see the world with green tinted glasses.. and anyone who has tried on a pair of green shades, can tell u that its all a blur and that u cant really tell what exactly you're seeing, which is not a good thing.

But what im trying to seek by writing this is the answer to a very complicated question. I read somewhere about a person who while describing himself had written " I hate if anyone eyes my possessions yet I want to be envied". I think he speaks for most of us. True sainthood would have us belive that it is possible, to love without ownership, but since im no saint, I just cant, but that's not to say that I am not trying.

But then again, I think jealousy is ,in a way, good for us..it lets the other person know how much we adore them. Coz if we did not love them, the question of jealousy coming and ruining the picture wud never arise. U don't feel jealous of people who u don't love…or do u? but there are thousands of different ways in which u can show ur adoration for someone..rather than letting them know it thru this manner. Though in the heart of things we know that it causes a lot of heartache to us.

So what I was saying was that, if anyone truly finds a way to love without possessing, please please please let me know.

CHANGE IS PERMANENT

Ironical, isn't it? The paradox of the sentence- the only thing that is constant is change!!

And its true, look around yourself, what do u find? The answer is simple CHANGE .

People change, things change, times change. In short life changes.

Whether they change for the better or worse is entirely a subjective thing. Just the other day I was talking to my friend about change.she said it is bad, I said its good, well it depends from thing to thing and from perspective to perspective.

But just like a coin, everything has two sides to it. As much as we detest there are some things that will never change, like old habits. And if u ask me I'd rather keep it that way. Otherwise there will be no distinguishing feature for people. Some of these habits may be irritating, but u must realize its importance. Bear it and move on. That's the best way of handling things.

So keeping this aspect apart, the view that comes to fore is that change is inevitable, and all of us must in some way or the other be prepared for it. We all know, there is no point in complaining, so its better that we accept this simple fact.

It may be bad, it may be good, but as long as u anticipate it, trust me, life will be a lot less stressful and a lot more easy.

And while u were readingthis, look around again, what all has changed?? The whether,the time on the clock?, ur mood? Or has it?……

PARTING……

I don't know how many of u will relate to this….but well I don't know how many of u will read this in the first place..so it hardly matters!!

Well I think, all of us..at one point or the other have experienced this biiter sweet feeling…its sweet sometimes, its sometimes bitter..and at other times its bitter-sweet. Its sweet when u believe in the idiom-"absence makes the heart grow fonder"… Its bitter when u don't believe in the idiom, i.e. when someone who u love dearly is parting..and and im talking here about temporary parting..because heaven knows that 'permanent parting' is never going to be the former for anyone..unless u belong to the category of cold blooded persons..who actually derive happiness out of the death of some…and in which case I shudder to think about the kind of person u are!! Well death may sometimes be deserved by certain people..and the entire debate of capital punishment can be dealt with at some other time..and let me tell u, I have a habit of weighing everything with its pros and cons, and inevitably end up being on both sides of the coin..and not to mention, thoroughly confused. And as u can obviously see I also have a habit of deviating from the topic, and get into an entirely different stream of thoughts!!

Well, so I was talking about temporary parting, i.e. u know that u will meet the person again..and that its only a matter of days..the current subject has been brought about by an event in my life..and the experience of which I would like to share..and for that u will have to know a little about my family

I belong to a family of 6..and I have 3 older sisters..two of my older sisters are married..and marriage was the only reason for which they actually left home…so we got to spend a lot of time..in that way…wat I mean to say is that they did not go out of town for other reasons..say higher studies or for vocational purposes..im hoping u're getting the picture..but the third one has just left for pune to pursue her m.b.a. and it was kind of first experience for all of us at home

But what I really want to write about it here, are my own feelings. We're separated only by two years..so u can imagine how close we were!! We may have fought like mad people..but then again I believe that u fight, only with people who are dear to u or who hold importance in ur life..yup..go on.. think about all the people u've fought with, over the years..yes yes even the worst of ur enemies..and u'll find out the significance of their existence in ur life!! Those who don't hold that special place in ur life..dont make u bother!!u can easily keep them aside, and carry on with ur life……Im doing it again!! Deviating from the topic!! Please bear..or else just get lost!!

What I was saying was, that lord knows I had been waiting for her to get out of the house like a lover waits for his love. Because it had its obvious plus points..like having the room to myself, having mamma's attention to myself, having the cell phone to myself etc etc(the list is long!!). But when the day actually came..all I could think about was how miserable my life would be without her being there always!!how I would have no one to irritate, how I would have to one who would listen to my lengthy explainations of everything(to my mum, it irritates her to no length..so I don't even try!!) and ofcourse how I would have no one to frown on my jokes( my mum actually laughs at them!!!!!). and ofcourse I could not think of one good reason for me to be happy about her parting…not at that moment though..but now I can..wat with emotions taking a second place to practicality/rationality..haha..and just this contradictory nature of the phenomenon of parting made me want to write about it. Its just as confusing as the entire course of life, but hey what are our brains for, if not for sorting out these confusions..and I for one, love these confusions!! Gives me enough food for thought for my ever starving brain!!

And just to end it all..or rather to sum it all up, I'd like to quote a few lines from one of my favorite hindi songs

"na jaane kyun hota hai yeh zindagi ke saath,

achanak yeh mann, kisi ke jaane ke baad

kare phir uski yaad

choti choti si baat"

it just means- don't know why it happens with life, that suddenly/immediately after a person parts, we do nothing but be reminded of every little thing associated with them!!

True!!

an introduction

not of myself, but of what you may find in here if, by accident, you happen to stumble upon this page.

as the name suggests, these are just random thoughts, written in true tradition of randomness.
dictionary.com defines random as : proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.
my point exactly!!

yup, moving on now, i dont promise to update the blog regularly, i write as and when i feel like it, otherwise it becomes tiresome, writing for the sake of writing, in other words, it then becomes a compulsion, and i dont want that to happen...

the following few items were written a long long time ago...2 years aprox. They are very close to my heart, and hence i begin this blog with my very first scribbling, Parting. The others were written after that, in the order of appearance.

Happy Reading :)